Does it really have to be a competition? Why can’t we simply celebrate both women and men’s potential and success.
Also dear sir/madam, if ,due to your insecurities, you had the urge to reply to a tweet celebrating a lady shaping the future of technology and human lives by the “can’t pee standing up” argument, joke is most definitely on you.
Was it an innocent comment? I doubt it and even if it is, it’s still very inappropriate. It’s not fun. It’s annoying.
This is a small sample of the 💩 women have to deal with on daily basis. It’s just tiring and completely unnecessary.
This incident for example made me angry and when I’m angry I can’t do my job properly because I’m not in the mood.
I also had to spend time writing this rant instead of focusing on the conference and trying new APIs.
My point is this is not only affecting individuals or just women, this has consequences on everyone. So please, let’s just all try to be more mindful.
Before saying anything nasty, ask yourself: Is is really necessary?
Before I go to try peeing standing up, I just want to add one more thing : Empathy. Empathy is a magical word that does wonders.
I’m currently typing these words while on board of a Delta flight heading from LHR to JFK for what should be: ONE HELL OF A TRIP.
The main reason behind this tour is one small human being, my newborn niece. When my sister told me a while back that she’s expecting a baby and that my parents would be travelling as well to see their first grand-child, we all agreed it would be nice to have a family reunion.
Being a remote worker made things much easier for me, the plan was for me to work from the States where I have already some of my colleagues.
But then one thing led to another and instead of going for few weeks to work from my sister’s couch, I will be touring the country for more than just a couple of weeks speaking and attending some conferences.
So if you happen to be attending one of these conferences, please come say Hi!
Earlier this week (3 weeks ago now when I started drafting this post), I posted on my Instagram story ( I luuuuv Instagram. Go ahead and judge me.) how I wake up early (6AM FTW which is way too early by my standards), went to my gym session and did not break any nails while lifting weights. Oh yeah.
A friend pinged me to say how cool I’m (totally agree on that one) and how she’s struggling to find the motivation to wake up early and exercise.
The truth is I don’t just wake up early and go to the gym, in the same way I don’t just eat healthy and drink water or most importantly I don’t just sit in front of my computer and magically am productive. It’s a whole process that I’m applying to try to descipline myself to find the motivation to do all the things I want to do and be productive.
By all means, I’m not one of those self-help gurus (or whatever they are called), I’m just going to share with you some tips and hacks to win at life or simply survive…I guess, based on my own experience.
Chances are my line manager, the boss of my boss and my teammates are reading this, so it’s wise not to mention anything about distraction or my struggle to focus.
First of all, I never pretended to be wise.
Second of all, I’m lucky (until this is the norm for everyone as it should be) to work with an amazing group of humans that values…humans. I don’t have to pretend, I can openly go to my boss and say that I’m struggling to focus, that I can’t find the motivation to do this piece of work or that it’s taking me forever to finish a task. Even better, I get some tips from them on how to deal with it all.
It does happen. To all of us (don’t try to hide, I can see you over there. It’s alright, come join us).
Now, buckle up, things are about to get serious!
I must clarify that there is a difference between not feeling motivated to go to the gym once in a while and not liking your 5 to 9 , 7 days a week job.
I’ve been there, for both the gym & the job.
I found (notice the past tense 😉 ) myself twice in jobs that I hated.
That resulted in me being a very unpleasant person loudly and publicly expressing my hate for the job …in the office. I don’t think I was despressed as rage took over any other kind of feelings but I was definitely unhappy.
My motivation to get up every morning to go to that job was to pay my bills ( I was late most of the days, we had a fairly flexible hours so technically I wasn’t late).
My motivation not to murder anyone on that job was the fact it is illegal and I could go to jail. I do not want to go to jail.
Was that enough motivation for me to stay? No.
In my own experience, unless you’re motivated to do something, you’ll never be able to do it. Maybe you will but as a result, you’ll end up with a done task and a very miserable depressed human being, that’s you.
Doing things without love is not sustainable, eventually something will fall apart.
So here’s my first valuable tip for you :
Paying the bills is not a good enough motivation to be stuck in a job you hate. Some of you may shout “We have mouths to feed”. I understand but that still doesn’t make it a good motivation.
But hear me out, when I left the job I hated , I didn’t just suddenly leave. I had a plan.
I actually turned that shitty situation into my new motivation to find a new job. Instead of ” This is a shit job but it pays the bills” , my brain was telling me ” This is a shit job that only pays the bills. It’s time for us to look for another job”.
So we did.
Last year I gave a talk entitled Keep Climbing in which I state lessons learnt from Climbing and how to apply them in my professional life as a woman in tech.
The first thing I mentioned was my motivation to start climbing in the first place as I’m scared of heights.
I do climb to beat my fear actually ( I’m still a pretty rubbish climber but who cares? I’m still doing it. I’m actually going climbing tomorrow) .
This is how important having the right motivation is! You can beat your greatest fears for the right motivation. ( I’m also scared of rope bridges but I did cross one in Morrocco because that was the only way to reach the restaurant where we were having lunch…the power of food).
Now, for the gym, in November 2016 I suddenly decided to start exercising. I joined something called BootCamp which is basically a small group of people exercising with a Personal trainer.
As this wasn’t surprinsing enough for myself and everyone who knew me, those bootcamps are early in the morning. They start at 6:45AM which means I have to wake up at 6AM. What’s so unsual about that? I DO NOT WAKE UP EARLY.
Guess what, since November 2016 I’ve been going to my bootcamps 3 days a week. I did miss few sessions because of work or laziness but I did not give up. Why? Because If I ever make it to the age of 60 or 70, I want to be healthy and active.
This is what Sarah Knight call the power of negative thinking in her books. I imagine a future me out of shape, unable to go hiking and really miserable. That’s the future me I do not want, that’s my motivation to go to the gym.
The positivity of negative thinking. This sounds similar to !False = True , doesn’t it?!
Basically, find what makes your heart beat , it doesn’t have to be the job or the gym but whatever you do or want to do , think why you want to do it? What motivates you? And this will massively help you move to the next step : Doing the thing.
I don’t know about you but I had days when I had all the motivation of the world and all these amazing plans and yet couldn’t achieve much.
The first step towards being productive is knowing when you’re not (which shouldn’t be that hard) and trying to fix it.
In the era of social media and increasing mental health issues, it’s easy to get distracted or loosing focus.
You think you’re only spending 5 minutes to check Victoria Beckham latest Instagram photo but she tags David, Brooklyn, Cruz and Romeo and you end up checking all 5 profiles for hours!!
Here’s what I did/am doing in order to be productive and it’s fairly working :
Adios notifications : I don’t think it’s FOMO but I really hate notifications. The moment I see or hear one, I have to check it out. I can’t stand having little notifications on my screen. I get emails, slack, facebook, Messenger, Twitter, Instagram and WhatsApp notifications. That’s simply a lot. Checking all of them is definitely a huge distraction and waste of time. That’s why, I disabled all notifications on my phone. Since then my life is much better. I do still check emails and Slack on my phone but on my own terms, same thing for Instagram.
To-do lists, To-do lists, To-do lists: I love those, I always did but I’m applying them more to my daily life after reading Sarah Knight’s book Get Your Shit Together. Every morning, while having my breakfast, I’ll spend half an hour writing down my To-do list.